10.28.14
9.16.14
9.1.14
Woke up-awake & aware
Ready to begin the next phase of my journey
I can see clearly now what I have to do & my commitment has never felt more concrete.
I used to not a lot
-not have enough, be enough...live
Making excuses when I always had choices
& while those thoughts at times are perfectly rational and normal
It is not where I exist and will no longer be the pool that I draw my inspiration from
I am blessed beyond what these words could ever convey
-everything that has happened...
All of the lessons + wisdom I've shared have brought me to this point of no return
All that I can say and do reflects the gratitude that I exude from my soul
Thank You
To each & everyone of you
& most of all to myself
For finally listening + trusting the nagging in my heart
Woke up-awake & aware
Ready to begin the next phase of my journey
I can see clearly now what I have to do & my commitment has never felt more concrete.
I used to not a lot
-not have enough, be enough...live
Making excuses when I always had choices
& while those thoughts at times are perfectly rational and normal
It is not where I exist and will no longer be the pool that I draw my inspiration from
I am blessed beyond what these words could ever convey
-everything that has happened...
All of the lessons + wisdom I've shared have brought me to this point of no return
All that I can say and do reflects the gratitude that I exude from my soul
Thank You
To each & everyone of you
& most of all to myself
For finally listening + trusting the nagging in my heart
Hello September
It's back to school for children and an end to the Summer season
As we focus on the fall & harvest
Celebrate Nature's beauty as she paints color on the trees + beautiful foliage
Call on the energy in the air
Prosperity, Abundance, Sensibility + Balance are all readily available
Thank the goddess
She provides you with endless amounts of blessings throughout the year
As we focus on the fall & harvest
Celebrate Nature's beauty as she paints color on the trees + beautiful foliage
Call on the energy in the air
Prosperity, Abundance, Sensibility + Balance are all readily available
Thank the goddess
She provides you with endless amounts of blessings throughout the year
Goodbye August
Music
Art
Festivals & Fairs
It is the last Woo Hoo! of summer for those living in seasonal areas
Through the gatherings we go to + the intimacies shared
Love & magic are in the air
As we enjoy the remaining warmth
Preparing for the Fall & Winter months
It instills energy, health & happiness within + all around us
Art
Festivals & Fairs
It is the last Woo Hoo! of summer for those living in seasonal areas
Through the gatherings we go to + the intimacies shared
Love & magic are in the air
As we enjoy the remaining warmth
Preparing for the Fall & Winter months
It instills energy, health & happiness within + all around us
I wish for security Fri, Aug 22nd, 2014
I NEED A FINANCIAL MIRACLE
Thank You 29 JULY 14
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7.12.14
Feeling the luck in the air It is MY Time |
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7.10.14
GOOD MORNING
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VIDI
1999 & 7.9.14
No one tells you how to really live in this world.
You go to school and learn mind numbing tales of dead people,
outdated ideas and learn information that you will probably never use again.
What is the point?
Where are the classes that teach you how to live in this beautifully sick and wonderfully sad world?
Overwhelming, scary and exhilarating at the same time;
it’s what we call life but where’s the instruction manual?
We are thrust out there with relatively no precautions or training and told to
go and make a life for ourselves.
Figuring out who you are is hard enough
without trying to decide what you will do for the rest of your life,
what your sexual orientation will be and how to deal with the baggage you’ve accumulated through the years.
How do we strive to become better people
when we barely know who we are and what we are capable of?
This story,
like many others that have paved the way,
attempts to explain what it is like to grow up in the world during a pivotal time in everyone’s life.
Becoming an adult,
dealing with financial pressures as well as parental,
love, sex and how our values shape the type of person we will become,
as well as the experiences we will encounter.
Although there is a love story,
it is not your normal one
as I fall in love with a woman but am not a lesbian.
The journal entries tackle the search for true intimacy,
experimentations with drugs,
how depression and fear can wreak havoc on your life
and ultimately getting to the root of who we are,
why we do the things we do
and how to combat the demons that keep us from truly being happy.
VIDI is the diary of a self obsessed teenager
fighting with her mother,
abandoned by her father,
embarking on a brand new adventure in a new state
filled with sunshine and happiness
only to find that she may be in over her head,
filled with delusions of what life is about
and searching for the answers to the questions we all seek.
Who am I and why am I here?
Will I find love or ever be loved?
What is my sexuality?
Am I normal?
VIDI
jumps straight into the action
in diary form with the main character summing up her life thus far
and plunging us,
the readers
into a heated fight with her mother and the police.
It then follows the impact of moving from where the main character was born and raised
to a place she has only dreamed about
to the harsh realities of Hawaii,
the people she meets and her troubled soul.
The diary entries include horoscope readings that the main character uses as guides
of how to approach life and what to expect,
pictures, poetry and drawings also give insight into what the main character is feeling
and into the life that she is living.
The conclusion takes us through the stormy relationship she encounters with her lesbian roommate
with whom she is head over heels in love
and how she deals with denying,
then confronting her confused feelings head on.
I was born and raised in Manhattan,
New York City.
At the age of 18
I left the comfort and familiarity
to start a new life on the islands.
On a whim
I applied to Hawaii Pacific University as a part of my college application process
and was accepted.
I had always known I would go,
since I was a little girl;
I just envisioned it would be on my honeymoon,
not to attend school.
Although I only spent two years in college
I spent a total of 5 years immersed in the Polynesian culture
really searching for the answers to life's fundamental questions
and for my soul mate.
No one tells you how to really live in this world.
You go to school and learn mind numbing tales of dead people,
outdated ideas and learn information that you will probably never use again.
What is the point?
Where are the classes that teach you how to live in this beautifully sick and wonderfully sad world?
Overwhelming, scary and exhilarating at the same time;
it’s what we call life but where’s the instruction manual?
We are thrust out there with relatively no precautions or training and told to
go and make a life for ourselves.
Figuring out who you are is hard enough
without trying to decide what you will do for the rest of your life,
what your sexual orientation will be and how to deal with the baggage you’ve accumulated through the years.
How do we strive to become better people
when we barely know who we are and what we are capable of?
This story,
like many others that have paved the way,
attempts to explain what it is like to grow up in the world during a pivotal time in everyone’s life.
Becoming an adult,
dealing with financial pressures as well as parental,
love, sex and how our values shape the type of person we will become,
as well as the experiences we will encounter.
Although there is a love story,
it is not your normal one
as I fall in love with a woman but am not a lesbian.
The journal entries tackle the search for true intimacy,
experimentations with drugs,
how depression and fear can wreak havoc on your life
and ultimately getting to the root of who we are,
why we do the things we do
and how to combat the demons that keep us from truly being happy.
VIDI is the diary of a self obsessed teenager
fighting with her mother,
abandoned by her father,
embarking on a brand new adventure in a new state
filled with sunshine and happiness
only to find that she may be in over her head,
filled with delusions of what life is about
and searching for the answers to the questions we all seek.
Who am I and why am I here?
Will I find love or ever be loved?
What is my sexuality?
Am I normal?
VIDI
jumps straight into the action
in diary form with the main character summing up her life thus far
and plunging us,
the readers
into a heated fight with her mother and the police.
It then follows the impact of moving from where the main character was born and raised
to a place she has only dreamed about
to the harsh realities of Hawaii,
the people she meets and her troubled soul.
The diary entries include horoscope readings that the main character uses as guides
of how to approach life and what to expect,
pictures, poetry and drawings also give insight into what the main character is feeling
and into the life that she is living.
The conclusion takes us through the stormy relationship she encounters with her lesbian roommate
with whom she is head over heels in love
and how she deals with denying,
then confronting her confused feelings head on.
I was born and raised in Manhattan,
New York City.
At the age of 18
I left the comfort and familiarity
to start a new life on the islands.
On a whim
I applied to Hawaii Pacific University as a part of my college application process
and was accepted.
I had always known I would go,
since I was a little girl;
I just envisioned it would be on my honeymoon,
not to attend school.
Although I only spent two years in college
I spent a total of 5 years immersed in the Polynesian culture
really searching for the answers to life's fundamental questions
and for my soul mate.
Hello JULY
This is a time of celebration
Activity levels are high as we turn our attention to growth
Quench your thirst for knowledge
Explore the different ways you can prosper
Create
Enjoy yourself
Have fun
Live each moment
Activity levels are high as we turn our attention to growth
Quench your thirst for knowledge
Explore the different ways you can prosper
Create
Enjoy yourself
Have fun
Live each moment
Goodbye JUNE
As I reflect on what has occurred
The butterflies are relentless
This wonder & beauty opened up to me & I simply feel blessed
The happiness exudes from everything that I do & everyone that I surround myself with
The world is a truly beautiful place when you really look closely
Thank you
I am honored to be a part of each & every one of these moments
This really is a wonderful life
The butterflies are relentless
This wonder & beauty opened up to me & I simply feel blessed
The happiness exudes from everything that I do & everyone that I surround myself with
The world is a truly beautiful place when you really look closely
Thank you
I am honored to be a part of each & every one of these moments
This really is a wonderful life
I cannot believe a year has come & gone
To say that she has changed me would be an
understatement
I am now complete
Thank you for this remarkable journey
I did it!
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Sam Smith...
sit back & just listen... |
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THE GREEN WOMAN
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This just made me smile today...
6.6.14 Thinking of you Nanny, Granny & Grandpa Always & especially today I miss you |
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Never has a horoscope been more true... Crazy beautiful things are happening Thank You Thank You Thank You |
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Na Na Na... 03 June 14
HAPPY 1st Day of JUNE
This month is devoted to love & intimate unions
The name comes from Juno, the Roman goddess of love
& is a time of abundance as the earth blossoms into Summer
It is filled with a beautiful energy + spirit
Good friends socializing, a frenzy of excitement & activities
Young love, romance, beauty & endless happiness are all of things June wishes to offer you
The name comes from Juno, the Roman goddess of love
& is a time of abundance as the earth blossoms into Summer
It is filled with a beautiful energy + spirit
Good friends socializing, a frenzy of excitement & activities
Young love, romance, beauty & endless happiness are all of things June wishes to offer you
MEMORIAL WEEKEND LOVE 2014
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18 MAY 14
I hope I am making you proud Although this card was given to me when I was 21, living in Hawaii & about to finally go for my dream of becoming an artist it still means just as much to me especially now. After dropping out 6 months later, in love, about to get married for the first time.. I abandoned that desire The next time she saw me I was in a negative place & couldn't see my way out.. it was less than a year so she was shocked I saw a new look in her eyes... disappointment. That day has been in my thoughts all of these years I found the card right before I had Julia in a mad nesting faze I put it up in my bathroom... the only comfortable place to be & my safe, relaxing space I became sad that I had shattered her faith in what I represented for her & most of all constantly denying what I knew my potential to be If you are out there & just so happen to see this, Tiffany... no more. I'm back. 
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JULIA MEET LENNY 5.17.14
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Moving on
5.8.14
I have been procrastinating all day since Julia did the reading
I know after I write the words the past will be behind me
I said my goodbyes & brought Julia to where it all happened
A love story gone wrong yet right in the end
If I had never taken the assignment, if our hospitals had never merged...
If I wasn't looking for love in unfamiliar places...
My life, this story...
I don't believe in coincidence
This was meant to happen
We were never meant to be
You finally made me see that
Except to create this magnificent life
I am blessed to know
Watch grow
Enrich and harness all of the love she has to give
She has made my life worth living
&
I see a future filled with endless sunsets
Rainbows, unicorns, faerytales,
Bliss and nothing but happiness
I am ready
Goodbye past
Hello Future
I am here at last
I know after I write the words the past will be behind me
I said my goodbyes & brought Julia to where it all happened
A love story gone wrong yet right in the end
If I had never taken the assignment, if our hospitals had never merged...
If I wasn't looking for love in unfamiliar places...
My life, this story...
I don't believe in coincidence
This was meant to happen
We were never meant to be
You finally made me see that
Except to create this magnificent life
I am blessed to know
Watch grow
Enrich and harness all of the love she has to give
She has made my life worth living
&
I see a future filled with endless sunsets
Rainbows, unicorns, faerytales,
Bliss and nothing but happiness
I am ready
Goodbye past
Hello Future
I am here at last
Happy May!
May is a representation of the goddess Maia
& her influence on the earth
Everything is blossoming, renewing + alive
Get outside + fall in love with nature
Use flowers in all of your magical incantations
Get in touch with
& express your creativity + inventiveness
Spring clean all aspects of your life + sacred spaces
May is a representation of the goddess Maia
& her influence on the earth
Everything is blossoming, renewing + alive
Get outside + fall in love with nature
Use flowers in all of your magical incantations
Get in touch with
& express your creativity + inventiveness
Spring clean all aspects of your life + sacred spaces
EGGS=BASKET
so...although I haven't been writing & sorry to anyone reading VIDI, I promise I will get back to it. My goal is to write up until I get to Hawaii then upload pics from that time...I'm also hoping + willing a deal to cross my path. I am trying my best to rest since my crazy momentum for this website & photography have let a month slip by and made it feel like a few days. I haven't been sleeping, eating or veging...just taking care of Julia & focused business woman at night. It has paid off. The art work I have created is just inspiring me to delve deeper. Are there hidden answers in these figures I see? Can this technique answer questions that have baffled us for centuries? Some pictures have a sinister tone & I quickly delete it & move on, thinking of Hellraiser & opening that box. I seek the light, the beauty, something that reaffirms to me that this life is worth living. Waiting Room was one of the toughest points in my life & I nearly ended it all. I kept thinking what's the point? Now seeing the difference in myself that Julia has brought about, I now know what true love is. She is my everything, my muse, my joy, she has filled that missing piece that I have searched my whole life for. I just want to really go for this. I need to see if that dream I had of being an artist as a small child can come true. Can I be successful, happy & do something I love which utilizes my creativity & fills me with pride? I see now why I got the same card 2 weeks in a row but this time in reverse...without that advise I would have kept going until I just passed out on Julia. Already she was mimicking my behavior...trying to live this fast life staying up all night with me, wanting to be there for every second of it. I know she feels it. This electric suspense in the air. The feeling that any moment it is going to happen & I will finally be able to breathe because her future is secure. I wake up every morning charged & ready to go. I can't wait to see what image will appear next or what is going to happen in VIDI. I know it's my journal & I remember the gist but it has been awhile since I was that version of myself & I don't remember the actual details. I know I wrote them down...uncensored & unapologetic. I have had to be censored for awhile now so I love the juxtaposition of me finding my voice again, with the me who discovered how powerful it was in the first place. I want this. I want this more than anything I have ever wanted in my life. My goal list is not going to be easy but I am going to do everything in my power to make it happen as well as asking for all of the support & blessings from the universe. Please continue to guide me on the right path, leading me to those that believe in my vision & wish to help me in expressing my gifts. I promise I won't let you down.
Thank you.
Forever & Always.
M.
4-23-14-00:23
Thank you.
Forever & Always.
M.
4-23-14-00:23
Todays date is a mirror image 4-10-2014
The High Life
I do drugs to elevate life not escape from it
Take a journey with me
Sometime
You'll see
Magnificence
Splendor
Pure joy
...like never before
Take a journey with me
Sometime
You'll see
Magnificence
Splendor
Pure joy
...like never before
In the middle of our X-Men marathon I look over at Julia & she has all of my fairy cards
I come over to her and she is sifting through the pile...searching for the right one
She finds it, I can't see which one it is because it is turned to the other side
She strokes it gently, talks in her "baby" language and hands it to me
The suspense is rife & I guess which card I want to see on the other side...
that is on the other side...
will it be on the other side?
The Master Maker.
The reading for the week alluded to it...
made me wonder
Will I ever be a Master Maker
Well...,
moment of truth...
I had been feeling extra psychic lately
So much so that it had freaked me out on more than one occasion but I knew it had to be and...
it was!
I am now an official Master Maker
I was confused at first...
was the card for me or for her...
was it a mistake.
I asked her if it was for me & went to hand it back.
I was immediately saddened when she took the card from my hand but once again she looked at it intently, stroked the card only this time she stretched out her hand to me
To my forehead
She rubbed the card against it then handed it to me
For me?
She looked at me cocked her head to the side saying yup
I gave her a hug + kiss
I had been thinking about that card all week & here she was presenting it to me
She was my gift giving me gifts
I come over to her and she is sifting through the pile...searching for the right one
She finds it, I can't see which one it is because it is turned to the other side
She strokes it gently, talks in her "baby" language and hands it to me
The suspense is rife & I guess which card I want to see on the other side...
that is on the other side...
will it be on the other side?
The Master Maker.
The reading for the week alluded to it...
made me wonder
Will I ever be a Master Maker
Well...,
moment of truth...
I had been feeling extra psychic lately
So much so that it had freaked me out on more than one occasion but I knew it had to be and...
it was!
I am now an official Master Maker
I was confused at first...
was the card for me or for her...
was it a mistake.
I asked her if it was for me & went to hand it back.
I was immediately saddened when she took the card from my hand but once again she looked at it intently, stroked the card only this time she stretched out her hand to me
To my forehead
She rubbed the card against it then handed it to me
For me?
She looked at me cocked her head to the side saying yup
I gave her a hug + kiss
I had been thinking about that card all week & here she was presenting it to me
She was my gift giving me gifts
This page just appeared on my computer
I immediately dismissed it as trash thinking get this pop up out of here as I
SHUT
It
DOWN!...
Then I thought wait a minute
What was that...
Trippy
I immediately dismissed it as trash thinking get this pop up out of here as I
SHUT
It
DOWN!...
Then I thought wait a minute
What was that...
Trippy
YOU ARE VIGOROUS IN WORDS & ACTION
Between me & you
I'm a little freaked out at the minute...
maybe freaked out isn't the word...
excited + jumpy...
Tomorrow is March 27, 2014
I'm a numbers person so March is 3 the 2+7 is 9 and the 2+1+4 is 7...all of which are my favorite/goto/superstitious/lucky/icantbelievethisisreallyhappening numbers
I celebrate every 27th since it's my birthday & I feel that tomorrow will be a celebration indeed
Between me & you
I'm a little freaked out at the minute...
maybe freaked out isn't the word...
excited + jumpy...
Tomorrow is March 27, 2014
I'm a numbers person so March is 3 the 2+7 is 9 and the 2+1+4 is 7...all of which are my favorite/goto/superstitious/lucky/icantbelievethisisreallyhappening numbers
I celebrate every 27th since it's my birthday & I feel that tomorrow will be a celebration indeed
h
g
i
h
high
high
I get high
I love bud!
Yup I said it
and if you know me
You know I like to get lit
But if you don't I'm not ashamed, embarrassed or afraid
To let you know
That in fact
It kinda makes me fit
I have been wrapped in a cocoon
Grinding away
Not thinking about food to eat or if I'll lay
It's not deprivation
It's the initiation
Ask
Believe + Receive
Grinding away
Not thinking about food to eat or if I'll lay
It's not deprivation
It's the initiation
Ask
Believe + Receive
Thinking About Simon
I fell in love with you a long time ago
I fell in love with you I just thought you should know
I fell in love with you, yes I know it's the past
I just didn't want to let this beautiful moment pass
I fell in love with you a long time ago
I fell in love with you I just thought you should know
I fell in love with you, yes I know it's the past
I just didn't want to let this beautiful moment pass
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9 months old today...It goes so fast & I feel so lucky. This is the life...
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I have believed for sometime that there are no coincidences...everything happens for a reason and I have been blessed to live my life this way. When bad things happen I look at the lessons I need to learn from it and the mistakes I wish not to repeat. Recently my life has undergone circumstances that I am trying my best to understand and grow from. I am learning to live in the present and with that comes a lot of uncertainty for the future. The only thing that I can do is stay honest, humble and nurture all of the seeds I have cultivated...may they blossom and flourish in the light. Blessed Be
March.
It is a time of change, growth, prosperity & life.
It ushers in the spring, showing us the budding potential of all things just under the surface.
Believe, ask & you shall receive.
As above, so below, in my heart where the love continues to grow.
Today is the start of something special and I call upon all of the blessings, hopes & dreams constantly working to keep me true...
I am ready & grateful to you all.
Thank You
♡
It is a time of change, growth, prosperity & life.
It ushers in the spring, showing us the budding potential of all things just under the surface.
Believe, ask & you shall receive.
As above, so below, in my heart where the love continues to grow.
Today is the start of something special and I call upon all of the blessings, hopes & dreams constantly working to keep me true...
I am ready & grateful to you all.
Thank You
♡
